I was recently reflecting on my past and a guy I used to talk to came to my mind. I remembered how he treated me and how my friends continuously told me to stop talking to him because they said I deserve more. I told them I would stop communicating with him, but I just felt the need to keep going back to him. I finally stopped talking to him and realized what I want and what I deserve. Here is a list of what I and every other girl, or guy, deserves.
1. We deserve compliments.
This was something I realized very late. I know it is nice to be complimented, but I never focused on if I was, or was not. One day my friend brought up to me how even her guy friends will compliment her. It is a part of being a human to compliment someone. I thought back and realized that the guy I was trying to pursue never complimented me. Instead, he told me to stop fishing for compliments. Don’t get me wrong, I know I am beautiful. I don’t mean that in a stuck up way just a confident way. Although I often tell this to myself to boost my self-esteem, it would be nice to hear it from someone other than my family or friends. A compliment is a simple gesture that can make someone’s day ten times better.
2. We deserve to be fought for.
I don’t deserve to be the only one trying. I texted him, I surprised him, I was open with him and I wasn’t getting any of that back. Towards the beginning, he was trying, I know he was but as time went on, it felt like I was the only one fighting for us. I would have been fine with it and moved on, but then he began to give me hope. He kept saying soon, that he would take me out, and he told me that there was a chance for us. He got my hopes up so I continued to try because, if you think there will be a future why would you give up? That was my mindset. I felt like I continued to fight for him, but no one was fighting for me. It was a pretty lousy way to feel and I didn’t deserve it.
3. We deserve an equal want for communication.
At night, if I am walking by myself I will usually call someone just to feel a little comfort in the dark. One night I decided to call this person and he was rude, he seemed like he didn’t want to talk to me and it didn’t help me feel comforted. I ended up hanging up and texted him saying that I called him to help me feel safe and it didn’t work. We proceeded to get into a fight when all I wanted to do was feel safe. Sometimes I felt like the conversation was only continuing because I was pulling answers out of him and it felt pointless. It’s not a great feeling when all you want to do is talk to someone but it seems like an inconvenience for them. I should be able to text or call someone and not feel like a bother.
4. We deserve to be on a "we" schedule.
I was continuously waiting for this person to be free. He would tell me he could hang out around ten at night but then I would end up waiting until almost three in the morning. Not only is that unfair, it is just annoying. Whenever he was free he would want to hang out but if I was busy when he wasn’t there was an issue. If two people are involved, you both must try to clear your schedules up to see each other. Learn how to run on a we schedule; if they are busy when you aren't, don’t get mad. Do not expect me to wait around for you to be free and when you are I will not clear my schedule.
5. We deserve to spark your interest.
Writing is a passion of mine, if you don’t want to write or don’t like to write then don’t. It does not bother me however it would be appreciated if he could try and share my passion. Instead, he told me he only read one of my articles because he didn’t have time to read anymore. I am not going to lie, I was hurt when he said that because I put a lot of time into these pieces of writing and he didn’t care enough to read them. He couldn’t take 5 minutes at most out of one day of the week to read what I wrote, what meant a lot to me. I deserve to have someone who will at least try to share my interests or at least read what I feel passionate about.
6. We deserve to be the only girl or guy.
I understand you have friends that are girls, that doesn’t bother me. It bothers me when you continuously bring up one of them saying that when I am not free, you will go to them. I get it the first few times it might be funny but then it just got annoying. I felt like you would rather be with her than hanging out with me. Even when we were together you brought her up, comparing her to me. Do not ever compare two people to each other.
7. We deserve to be taken out.
If you don’t want to take me on a date, that’s fine however I would like to be seen with you outside of one of our dorm rooms. It would be nice if we could hang out during the daylight instead of waiting until the sun is down to see each other. It makes me feel as though you don’t want to be seen with me. I deserve to be treated like I exist outside of the dorm.
8. We deserve an apology.
This is simple, if they do something wrong make sure they say sorry. It is a small word that can mean a lot. During the time I was talking to this person, he only said sorry once. Some people might think that someone apologizing doesn’t matter, however it does. If someone apologizes, it means that they know they did something wrong, something to hurt you. Often times when someone doesn’t recognize what they did, they will continue to treat you poorly and it could start to seem like they don’t care.
Some may think I am throwing shade at this person but I don’t mean to. I genuinely think that this is an important topic that all girls, or guys should be reminded of. Whether you are in high school, college, or older don’t ever forget what you deserve. If someone isn’t treating you right let them go. My biggest tip is to listen to your friends; if none of your friends like this person, he, or she, needs to go.
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