Are you part of a love-hate relationship? Is your partner a fountain of anger? Do you find yourself angry at him or her as well?
Have to ever considered this possibility?
Happiness in a relationship begins with ‘Smart Loving’.
I once heard an amazing story that fits this bill.
There was once a child who was born deaf. Her parents took her to countless doctors in a helpless plea to get her hearing back. They were never successful.
Then one Thanksgiving, they found an ENT surgeon, who suggested a certain procedure. It wasn’t cheap for the two parents , who lived on a modest middle-class salary. Yet, they were desperate to give their only child the biggest Thanksgiving gift they could ever imagine: her valuable hearing.
So they pulled out their life savings. They pulled out a sizeable loan. Finally, they ha stockpiled enough cash needed for the surgery. The ENT surgeon worked his magic and the child could hear once again.
A Thanksgiving miracle you might think.
Your question should never be: “What is the most expensive present out there?”
Rather focus on what the person needs.
Let’s flashback to what happened to the child in the story.
Her mood worsened after the surgery. She started having tantrums. This confused her parents. They thought they had given her everything that she ever wanted.
The child was never quite happy. She hated all the meaningless noises she constantly heard. They were starting to give her massive migraines. She hated hearing her parents argue at night. She hated the thunderous sounds coming from the nearby railway station — they kept her awake at night.
Don’t even get me started on the realstorms . The claps of thunder would sometimes give her nightmares.
She wanted things to change. She wanted to be deaf again. She wanted to have a peaceful night’s sleep. She wanted to be happy once again.
Why did her parents do this to her? Didn’t they know that she was happy before? 18 years of parenthood wasted. They had never understood her.
Is there any point in endless giving, if you partner hates the things that you give?
In this story, if the parents had stopped for a moment, what would they have noticed? They would’ve seen that their precious child was already as happy as she could be. They wouldn’t have wasted their energy and money on a pointless procedure.
Ever met a man who buys an insanely expensive engagement ring that he can’t quite afford? So that his partner can feel like the luckiest woman on earth when he proposes?
Did he know that she always dreamt of a guy who’d propose to her with a single red rose in hand? With knees hitting the ground, and a simple ring extended shocked face?
She never quite needed the ridiculously expensive ring. The red rose was the punchline of her childhood dream.
Getting to know someone is easier than you think.
1. Pay attention to her.
Listen to her when you take her for a walk. Ever heard her exclaim about a purse that she saw but couldn’t quite afford at the time? No, you didn’t, because you were thinking about watching the game at night. Or staring at the busty lady 50 feet in front of your face. Or that time you saw a dog eating its own poop.
Yep, that’s what goes on inside an average guy’s head. Games, women and dog poop. Random shit.
2. Surprise her when she least expects it.
Save a few bucks. Buy the thing that the talked about a month back. Keep it hidden where she least expects to find it. Come home early one Friday evening and keep the table ready for dinner.
Can’t cook? Order pizza instead. It doesn’t really matter.
Pull out the gift-wrapped present that she was daydreaming of all day long. See her face light up when she realises that you were paying attention all along.
What matters is that you paid attention.
Nothing else makes a girl happier. Or a guy for that matter. Pay attention when he watches his precious games on TV. Then you’d at least know what teams he follows. Maybe you could surprise him with that sports jersey he always wanted?
Who am I kidding? Most girls know this. It’s the guys I’m, worried about. Haven’t we hit the same wall more often than we could count?
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